As for kissing on the first date, you should never date someone whom you would not wish to kiss immediately.

You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

America of the future will be all malls connected by interstates. All because your parents no longer can their own tomatoes.

Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit.

A romp in the hay lingers like the first line of a song, but your true love is the one you make a life with and write more than a line about, you write a whole book.

People meet writers and are bowled over when the writer is friendly to them and invites them to his house for a glass of wine or to shoot up heroin or whatever they do, and they talk their heads off, and a year later it comes out in a book, and there follow years of bitter and fruitless litigation, and that is why you should always keep a writer at arm's length.