When you're a little kid, your heart is open and tender and a harsh word can go straight in and become part of your life.

Enough. Man is capable of reform once presented with the facts, and the fact is that bottling water and shipping it is a big waste of fuel, so stop already.

We thank you [the soldiers recently returned from the middle east] for your service.

Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.

A romp in the hay lingers like the first line of a song, but your true love is the one you make a life with and write more than a line about, you write a whole book.

Give guilt - the gift that lasts forever.

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy.