When you're a little kid, your heart is open and tender and a harsh word can go straight in and become part of your life.

Never insult a writer. You may find yourself immortalized in ways you may not appreciate.

I'm a lucky guy. I get to sit around every day and indulge in make believe and get paid for it.

Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.

Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards, and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.

No matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this.