They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel. Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner's lap. I failed the exam. But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part.

I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full speed and doesn't pull his head into the shell very often, I in reality was five or ten minutes later to every recording session.

Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"

Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried.

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.