Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"

I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell

Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried.

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.

Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.

I'm dating a woman now who, evidently, is unaware of it.