Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.

The comic strip is what I looked at, and it's another reason I did it. The comic strip, where animals would comment on human behaviour, interested me.

Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name?