When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

The comic strip is what I looked at, and it's another reason I did it. The comic strip, where animals would comment on human behaviour, interested me.

Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell