I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.

I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage.

I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell

I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel. Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner's lap. I failed the exam. But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part.

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large.