When angels fly inside your heart, that's when you can fly.

Five parts of my brain contain alien power, whatever I do or say cannot be denied on the intergalactic highway of existence.

Theres a woman in Arkansas that's such a bad cook, that a swarm of flies got together and repaired her screen door.

A good way to lose weight is to put salt on your ass and go to a petting zoo. But stay away from goats because I've seen them fornicate with a mail box.

Enemies are just friends in reverse.

You Know the Most Dangerous Thing In the Water? A Shark Fart.

Faith gives me the ability to rise above anything, because what is true in the spiritual realm is forever true. It cannot be denied.