In a difficult marriage, both of us have failed each other. Even though one may be the major problem,you also have failed often in the way you have responded to them, the way you have treated them, in the way you have handled your hurt and your pain.
Gary ChapmanThis is a huge thing if you are going to have a positive impact on your spouse. You have to not only realize this, but you have to practice this.
Gary ChapmanI am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. They insist on bringing into today the failures of yesterday and in so doing, they pollute a potentially wonderful day.
Gary ChapmanEvery single day in a marriage, we influence each other. It is a matter of am I going to have a positive influence or a negative influence?
Gary ChapmanEncouragement requires empathy and seeing the world from your spouse's perspective. We must first learn what is important to our spouse. Only then can we give encouragement. With verbal encouragement, we are trying to communicate, "I know. I care. I am with you. How can I help?" We are trying to show that we believe in him and in his abilities. We are giving credit and praise.
Gary Chapman