"My only problem with women breastfeeding in public is they never wink back." It's kind of the perfect joke because it's a bait and switch.

I'm not a tough guy or a good fighter at all. [Boxing] is just a great way to work out that's not boring. It's also good for your mental health. If you have an Irish or Scottish last name you should definitely do it.

Once anyone who has a sense of humor can do what they want, they want to do funny bits as much as possible.

I find comedians to be the biggest cocksuckers, because they don't want people to know how easy it is.

One of the downsides of being special is that you feel out of place wherever you go.

I've always found that word ["hipster"] is used with such disdain, like it's always used by chubby bloggers who aren't getting laid anymore and are bored, and they're just so mad at these young kids for going out and getting wasted and having fun and being fashionable.

I started noticing a lot of big companies are bored with ads; they feel sort of lost in the advertising world. They're not into magazines anymore.