Ah, yes! I wrote the "Purple Cow" - I'm sorry, now, I wrote it! But I can tell you anyhow, I'll kill you if you quote it!

To make fun of a person to his face is a brutal way of amusing one's self; be delicate and cunning, and keep your laugh in your sleeve, lest you frighten away your game.

Imagination is like a lofty building reared to meet the sky; whereas fancy is a balloon that soars at the wind's will.

The old say, "I remember when." The young say, "What's the news?"

When the waitress puts the dinner on the table, the old men look at the dinner. The young men look at the waitress.

Thinking a smile all the time will keep your face youthful.

Verily, men do foolish things thoughtlessly, knowing not why; but no woman doeth aught without a reason.