Never negotiate with kids. They don't have life experience, and they don't have repercussions for bad decisions; they still get fed and housed.

With just a little effort, life can be more or less exceptionally tolerable.

Wealth for its own sake is an empty shell. Wealth that includes making other people's lives better will reward you even more than the beautiful mansion you live in.

I don't know whether you [musician] can be all things to everybody, which is why there are different kinds of music.

I think that Shakespeare is a s***. Absolute s***! He may have been a genius for his time, but I just can't relate to that stuff. "Thee and thous" - the guy sounds like a faggot.

You know why I'm pulling your leg? Because I can't touch it from where I am.

I worship scones and danishes. If I never had another meal, I wouldn't care as long as I could eat pastries and jelly doughnuts.