I worship scones and danishes. If I never had another meal, I wouldn't care as long as I could eat pastries and jelly doughnuts.

Despite what your girlfriend may have told you, size is important, bigger is better.

A good marriage can be ruined by poor communications - and by forgetting to put the lid back down.

Believe me, the library is the temple of God. Education is the most sacred religion of all.

Fame is important, but to be rich is more important.

When I meet a woman, I don't think, 'Gee, I wonder if she's read the latest thesis by Stephen Hawking? I think, 'Great tits.'

You have to understand that nothing appeals to everybody.