I object to publishers: the one service they have done me is to teach me to do without them. They combine commercial rascality with artistic touchiness and pettishness, without being either good business men or fine judges of literature.

You are all alike, you respectable people. You can't tell me the bursting strain of a ten-inch gun, which is a very simple matter;but you all think you can tell me the bursting strain of a man under temptation. You daren't handle high explosives; but you're all ready to handle honesty and truth and justice and the whole duty of man, and kill one another at that game. What a country! What a world!

Do you think that the things people make fools of themselves about are any less real and true than the things they behave sensibly about? They are more true: they are the only things that are true.

I am oppressed with a dread of living forever. That is the only disadvantage of vegetarianism.

The Englishmen is at his best on the links and at his worst in the Cabinet.

When people shake their heads because we are living in a restless age, ask them how they would like to life in a stationary one, and do without change

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open.