There are two things necessary to Salvation.... Money and gunpowder.

I do not want to make my stomach a graveyard of dead animals.

The first condition of progress is the removal of censorship.

What is virtue but the Trade Unionism of the married?

We don't bother much about dress and manners in England, because as a nation we don't dress well and we've no manners.

If you demand my authorities for this and that, I must reply that only those who have never hunted up the authorities as I have believe that there is any authority who is not contradicted flatly by some other authority.

It is not that I am so clever; it is that everyone else is so stupid.