It is not that I am so clever; it is that everyone else is so stupid.

It is doubtless wise, when a reform is introduced, to try to persuade the British public that it is not a reform at all; but appearances must be kept up to some extent at least.

How can you dare teach a man to read until you've taught him everything else first?

The only person who acts sensibly is my tailor. He takes my measure anew every time he sees me. Everyone else goes by their old measurements.

If we have come to think that the nursery and the kitchen are the natural sphere of a woman, we have done so exactly as English children come to think that a cage is the natural sphere of a parrot: because they have never seen one anywhere else.

Don't waste time collecting other people's autographs; rather devote it to making your own autograph worth collecting.

A gentleman is one who puts more into the world than he takes out.