Absolute honesty is as absurd an abstraction as an absolute temperature or an absolute value.

There is a disease to which plays as well as men become liable with advancing years. In men it is called doting, in plays dating.The more topical the play the more it dates.

A dinner! How horrible! I am to be made the pretext for killing all those wretched animals and birds, and fish! Thank you for nothing. Now if it were to be a fast instead of a feast; say a solemn three days' abstention from corpses in my honour, I could at least pretend to believe that it was disinterested. Blood sacrifices are not in my line

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.

The ideal love affair should be conducted by post.

Oh, the frontier of hell and heaven is only the difference between two ways of looking at things.

Only where there is pecuniary equality can the distinction of merit stand out.