The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post.

He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

The longer I live, the more I realize that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time!

Why not give Christianity a trial?

God made the world as an artist and that is why the world must learn from its artists.

We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation.

I like to quote myself frequently and often, it makes me sound much more intelligent than I actually am.