The great secret, Eliza, is not having bad manners or good manners or any other particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls: in short, behaving as if you were in Heaven, where there are no thirdclass carriages, and one soul is as good as another.

Happiness and beauty are by-products. Folly is the direct pursuit of happiness and beauty.

There is only one person an English girl hates more than she hates her elder sister; and that is her mother.

Woman reduces us all to the common denominator.

I myself have been particularly careful never to say a civil word to the United States. I have scoffed at their inhabitants as a nation of villagers. I have defined the 100 % American as 99 % an idiot. And they adore me.

I find it easy to forgive the man who invented a devilish instrument like dynamite, but how can one ever forgive the diabolical mind that invented the Nobel Prize in Literature?

A little learning is a dangerous thing, but we must take that risk because a little is as much as our biggest heads can hold.