[Man] progresses in all things by making a fool of himself.

The only service a friend can really render is to keep up your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself.

There is, on the whole, nothing on earth intended for innocent people so horrible as a school. To begin with, it is a prison. But in some respects more cruel than a prison. In a prison, for instance, you are not forced to read books written by the warders and the governor. . . .In the prison you are not forced to sit listening to turnkeys discoursing without charm or interest on subjects that they don't understand and don't care about, and therefore incapable of making you understand or care about. In a prison they may torture your body; but they do not torture your brains.

The longer I live, the more I realize that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time!

Only Lawyers and mental defectives are automatically exempt for jury duty.

Fashions are the only induced epidemics, proving that epidemics can be induced by tradesmen.

Success covers a multitude of blunders.