There are only two classes in good society in England: the equestrian classes and the neurotic classes.

It is not the number of years we have behind us, but the number we have before us, that makes us careful and responsible and determined to find out the truth about everything.

Though the Life Force supplies us with its own purpose, it has no other brains to work with than those it has painfully and imperfectly evolved in our heads.

If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman's pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.

There is nothing so bad or so good that you will not find Englishmen doing it; but you will never find an Englishman in the wrong. He does everything on principle.

It would positively be a relief to me to dig Shakespeare up and throw stones at him.

This is my father. Try what you can with him! He won't listen to me, because he remembers what a fool I was when I was a baby.