If the wicked flourish and the fittest survive, Nature must be the god of rascals.

What is life but a series of inspired follies? The difficulty is to find them to do. Never lose a chance: it doesn’t come every day.

A married man forms married habits and becomes dependent on marriage just as a sailor becomes dependent on the sea.

A nap, my friend, is a brief period of sleep which overtakes superannuated persons when they endeavor to entertain unwelcome visitors or to listen to scientific lectures.

A healthy nation is as unconscious of its nationality as a healthy man of his bones. But if you break a person's nationality it will think of nothing else but getting it set again.

When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.

It's easier to replace a dead man than a good picture.