I have not wasted my life trifling with literary fools in taverns, as Johnson did, when he should have been shaking England with the thunder of his spirit

Of the three official objects of our prison system: vengeance, deterrence, and reformation of the criminal, only one is achieved; and that is the one which is nakedly abominable.

A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.

Some people look at the world and say 'why?' Some people look at the world and say 'why not?'

No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: he is always convinced that it says what he means.

Put an Irishman on the spit and you can always get another Irishman to turn him.

I shall always be a flower girl to Professor Higgins, because he always treats me as a flower girl, and always will; but I know I can be a lady to you, because you always treat me as a lady, and always will.