When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!

In your Salvation shelter I saw poverty, misery, cold and hunger. You gave them bread and treacle and dreams of heaven. I give from thirty shillings a week to twelve thousand a year. They find their own dreams; but I look after the drainage.

In an ugly and unhappy world the richest man can purchase nothing but ugliness and unhappiness.

No man can be a pure specialist without being in the strict sense an idiot.

I do not want actors and actresses to understand my plays. That is not necessary. If they will only pronounce the correct sounds I can guarantee the results.

Assassination on the scaffold is the worst form of assassination.