I do not want actors and actresses to understand my plays. That is not necessary. If they will only pronounce the correct sounds I can guarantee the results.

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I merely looked constipated.

You may well ask me why...I took the time to write [books]. I can only reply that I do not know. There was no why about it. I had to: that was all.

He who bears the brand of Cain shall rule the earth.

What the world calls originality is only an unaccustomed method of tickling it.

The notion that the colonel need be a better man than the private is as confused as the notion that the keystone need be stronger than the coping stone.

As long as more people will pay admission to a theater to see a naked body than to see a naked brain, the drama will languish.