I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.

Opera is when a tenor and soprano want to make love, but are prevented from doing so by a baritone.

That older and greater church to which I belong: the church where the oftener you laugh the better, because by laughter only can you destroy evil without malice

To me the sole hope of human salvation lies in teaching Man to regard himself as an experiment in the realization of God, to regard his hands as God's hand, his brain as God's brain, his purpose as God's purpose. He must regard God as a helpless Longing, which longed him into existence by its desperate need for an executive organ.

Beware of the man who does not return your blow: he neither forgives you nor allows you to forgive yourself.

Hatred is the coward's revenge for being intimidated.

We should all be obliged to appear before a board every five years and justify our existence... on pain of liquidation.