I dislike feeling at home when I am abroad.

A drama critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.

I like to quote myself frequently and often, it makes me sound much more intelligent than I actually am.

If more than 10% of the people like a painting, you can be sure it's bad.

Nowadays a parlor maid as ignorant as Queen Victoria was when she came to the throne would be classed as mentally defective.

If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you'll find you've done it.

Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors.