I am a sort of collector of religions: and the curious thing is that I find I can believe in them all.

The longer I live, the more convinced am I that this planet is used by other planets as a lunatic asylum.

A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend - if you have one. Telegram inviting Winston Churchill to opening night of Pygmalion. Churchill wired back: Impossible to be present for the first performance. Will attend the second - if there is one.

I'm sick of all the reasonable people: they see all the reasons for doing nothing

The reasonable man will adjust to the demands of his environment. The unreasonable man expects his environment to adjust to his own needs. Therefore, all progress depends upon the unreasonable man.