I am a sort of collector of religions: and the curious thing is that I find I can believe in them all.

An American has no sense of privacy. He does not know what it means.There is no such thing in the country.

Ye poor posterity, think not that ye are the first. Other fools before ye have seen the sun rise and set, and the moon change her shape and her hour. As they were so ye are; and yet not so great; for the pyramids my people built stand to this day; whilst the dustheaps on which ye slave, and which ye call empires, scatter in the wind even as ye pile your dead sons' bodies on them to make yet more dust.

The wheels are turning, but the hamsters are all dead. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it.

We should have had socialism already, but for the socialists, am quite willing to drop the name if dropping it will help me to get the thing.

The word morality, if we met it in the Bible, would surprise us as much as the word telephone or motor car.

The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she’s treated.