Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.

The person who is most a part of me is the performer, is the standup, the guy who says, "Hey look at me, listen to this!" I do that because that's what I do, I love doing it.

Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.

We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.

What I became a comedian for was to get my art out. To get some of these feelings and things I had on my chest out. I don't care if people believe them, listen to them, change their ways, or think, or any of that kind of crap. I'm interested in showing off. I'm the same kid from sixth grade who stood up and said "watch this."