If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
Griddle cakes, pancakes, hot cakes, flapjacks: why are there four names for grilled batter and only one word for love?
I like my jokes to be built on a foundation of ideas, or at least smart observations.
I make fun of people who are religious, because they're fundamentally weak.