The triumph of sugar over diabetes.

To speak of morals in art is to speak of legislature in sex. Art is the sex of the imagination.

I drink so the others become interesting.

It is also said of me that I now and then contradict myself. Yes, I improve wonderfully as time goes on.

Love demands infinitely less than friendship.

Like everybody else, when I don't know what else to do, I seem to go in for catching colds.

Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw up his job and go to work inthe brewery.