I do everything one at a time, one day at a time. It's the only way I can do all what I want. I stopped watching [most of] the news and entertainment shows. I think it's helped me to stay a little clearer. Do I need to know what Kevin Federline is doing? And I don't sleep a lot. I'm always connected to [my work].

No particular race is the enemy. Ignorance is the enemy.

If you had a personal trainer, you would probably eat him. I know that in every fat person, there's a skinny person inside, but you could have all the season's contestants of America's Next Top Model in you. I hope I get reincarnated as your feet. That way, you'd never see my face again... Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have insulted you. Because in my country, cows are sacred.

I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.

I think we all feel the same things most of the time, we just don't know how to put it into words. When I'm on stage, I say it. The truth makes people laugh.

80% of the women who were asked if they fake orgasms said yes. Actually, they said Yes! Oh God, Yes!

When things are bad, it's the best time to reinvent yourself.