I love comedy and I would write things to myself as an exercise in writing. I didn't do well for years, and I quit. I started to break down why I was afraid and started to look at people I admired, like Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Freddie Prinze, George Carlin and all.

If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.

80% of the women who were asked if they fake orgasms said yes. Actually, they said Yes! Oh God, Yes!

We need to get better at voting and be a voice for the people who do not have one.

If laughter is the best medicine, I promise to continue to make you laugh as my wife and I work together with the National Kidney Foundation to save lives.

Tied one on last night. Not feeling great this morning. I was trying to sleep it off, unfortunately, it was on the casino floor.

I had a very difficult childhood. I was surrounded by people who had both parents, which made me feel different. Having a bit of a rougher existence early on, it made me appreciate the work ethic that my grandparents instilled in me.