I spend a lot of time alone and my wife understands that I need to be alone. I enjoy being alone. But I'm never lonely.

Sarah Palin is Latina. Pay-leen. She has an infant and a grandkid the same age. Latina!

Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!

I've spent days in cinemas answering questions from the audience, in interviews, travelling abroad, and all they do is thank me nicely.

You know, you walk through this hotel, you're not going to see all white people; you're not going to see all black people; you're going to see what the world looks like. I promised myself that if I ever got an opportunity where I would be able to make a difference and have a say, that I would want to deliver [that] message [of inclusivity].

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

A Dodger uniform just doesn't look good with a cummerbund.