If laughter is the best medicine, I promise to continue to make you laugh as my wife and I work together with the National Kidney Foundation to save lives.

I never realized I could love people as much as I do now.

I'd love to have Michael Jackson [in my show] because he's black and white. So he would appeal to a universal demographic.

When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'

No particular race is the enemy. Ignorance is the enemy.

From now on, we're home schooling you. Whatever we don't know, you don't know. When did the Korean War start? I don't know, and neither do you!

80% of the women who were asked if they fake orgasms said yes. Actually, they said Yes! Oh God, Yes!