Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.

I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants.

D.C. is a great place. The music, jazz, has always been great here, the restaurants have always been fantastic here. And there's been a lot of changes in this city over the last 30 years, and all for the better.

I never realized I could love people as much as I do now.

George: Why've you had a grudge against your brother for 15 years? Benny: We Lopezes are a proud people... George: You have a birthday lunch at Denny's every month. We're not that proud!

An animal has to suffer for us old-school Latinos to get what we want.