A Dodger uniform just doesn't look good with a cummerbund.

if you make waffles, throw out the first one.

It's good to see people not smoking. You get dressed up, and you smoke, and it gets in your clothes. You go, 'What should I wear tonight?' 'I don't know, honey, how about something menthol?'

A Dodger uniform just doesn't look good with a cummerbund.

We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts.

Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member.

I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.