You're a grand old flag! You're a high-flying flag, And forever in peace may you wave. You're the emblem of the land I love, The home of the free and the brave. Ev'ry heart beats true 'Neath the Red, White and Blue,' Where there's never a boast or brag. But should auld acquaintance be forgot, Keep your eye on the grand old flag.

As a composer I could never find use for over 4 or 5 notes in any musical number, and as a playwright most of my plays have two acts because i couldn't think of an idea for the third act.

I don't care what they call me as long as they mention my name.

Don't tell 'em - SHOW 'em!

I don't care what you say about me, as long as you say something about me, and as long as you spell my name right.

I can write better plays than any living danced, and dance better than any living playwright.

Ev'ry heart beats true 'neath the Red, White and Blue