Women are better than they are reputed to be: they don't mock the tears men shed unless they themselves are responsible for them.

One of the most visible effects of a child's presence in the household is to turn the worthy parents into complete idiots when, without him, they would perhaps have remained mere imbeciles.

A woman never sees what we do for her, she only sees what we don't do.

Most men find it difficult to remain true to a single woman, but relatively easy to be true to three or four at the same time.

To be looked upon as a fool by an idiot is a true connoisseur's delight.

If we had to tolerate in others all that we permit in ourselves, life would become completely unbearable.

One of the most obvious results of having a baby around the house is to turn two good people into complete idiots who probably wouldn't have been much worse than mere imbeciles without it.