Motherhood . . . is an act of infinite optimism.

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.

Humor is just truth, only faster!

I love being a woman. You can cry. You get to wear pants now. If you're on a boat and it's going to sink, you get to go on the rescue boat first. You get to wear cute clothes. It must be a great thing, or so many men wouldn't be wanting to do it.

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.

[Emily Litella line:] Never mind.

My life had made me funny, and cancer wasn't going to change that.