I love being a woman. You can cry. You get to wear pants now. If you're on a boat and it's going to sink, you get to go on the rescue boat first. You get to wear cute clothes. It must be a great thing, or so many men wouldn't be wanting to do it.

It's such an act of optimism to get through a day and enjoy it and laugh and do all that without thinking about death. What spirit human beings have!

I think clothes should make you feel safe. I like clothes you want to go to sleep in. I sometimes stand in front of a mirror and change a million times because I know I really want to wear my nightgown.

Having cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not belong to.

I grew up in front of a television. I guess I'll grow old inside of one.

[Emily Litella line:] Never mind.

[Roseanne Roseannadanna line:] It's always something.