Gilda Radner Quotes

I would rather be funny than gorgeous, absolutely. Because it's too hard to be gorgeous, you know. I could make a stab at gorgeous as long as I had something funny to say to get out of it.

... every time I got disappointed I'd remember the Roseannadanna philosophy that says that you shouldn't cry over split milk 'cause if you spill some milk and instead of cleaning it up you just walk over it and start crying, they're gonna put you on lithium.

There are those who open their hearts to others...who never think twice about giving of themselves. They are the wonderful warmhearted people who make all the difference in our lives.

I have always found men who were funny, irresistible. It's rare that I ever based love on looks or superficial things, but it a guy made me laugh-and that didn't mean he had to be in comedy professionally - I was hooked.

What we put into every moment is all we have. You can drug yourself to death or you can smoke yourself to death or eat yourself to death, or you can do everything right and be healthy and then get hit by a car. Life is so great, such a neat thing, and yet all during it we have to face death, which can make you nuts and depressed.

I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.

[Emily Litella line:] Never mind.

I grew up in front of a television. I guess I'll grow old inside of one.

You cannot live in Los Angeles for any period of time without eventually trying to write a screenplay. It's like a flu bug that you catch ... Even the plumber has a screenplay in his truck.

Adopted kids are such a pain - you have to teach them how to look like you.

Some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.

My life had made me funny, and cancer wasn't going to change that.

[Roseanne Roseannadanna line:] It's always something.

I've learned what I can control is whether I am going to live a day in fear and depression and panic, or whether I am going to attack the day and make it as good a day, as wonderful a day, as I can.

Motherhood . . . is an act of infinite optimism.

Having cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not belong to.

The goal is to live a full, productive life even with all that ambiguity. No matter what happens, whether the cancer never flares up again or whether you die, the important thing is that the days that you have had you will have lived.

It's always something

Fame changes a lot of things, but it can't change a light bulb.

While we have the gift of life, it seems to me the only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity or our glorious uniqueness.

Dreams are like paper, they tear so easily.

I love being a woman. You can cry. You get to wear pants now. If you're on a boat and it's going to sink, you get to go on the rescue boat first. You get to wear cute clothes. It must be a great thing, or so many men wouldn't be wanting to do it.

It's such an act of optimism to get through a day and enjoy it and laugh and do all that without thinking about death. What spirit human beings have!

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.

I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they're the first to be rescued off sinking ships.

I think clothes should make you feel safe. I like clothes you want to go to sleep in. I sometimes stand in front of a mirror and change a million times because I know I really want to wear my nightgown.

Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.

Cancer changes your life, often for the better. You learn what's important, you learn to prioritize, and you learn not to waste your time. You tell people you love them. My friend Gilda Radner used to say, 'If it wasn't for the downside, having cancer would be the best thing and everyone would want it.' That's true. If it wasn't for the downside.

I would say that Lucy, 'I Love Lucy,' she was my idol.

You feel completely in control when you hear a wave of laughter coming back at you that you have caused.

I can always be distracted by love, but eventually I get horny for my creativity.

I'm not really an impersonator.

It is so hard for us little human beings to accept this deal that we get. It's really crazy, isn't it? We get to live, then we have to die. ... What spirit human beings have! It is a pretty cheesy deal - all the pleasures of life, and then death.

... I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Suddenly I had to spend all my time getting well.

Show business is like riding a bicycle - when you fall off, the best thing to do is get up, brush yourself off and get back on again.

[Motherhood is] the biggest gamble in the world. It is the glorious life force. It's huge and scary-it's an act of infinite optimism.

There is no real security except for whatever you build inside yourself.

Comedy is very controlling - you are making people laugh.

Humor is just truth, only faster!

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end.

Cancer is probably the most unfunny thing in the world, but I'm a comedian, and even cancer couldn't stop me from seeing the humor in what I went through.