I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.

It's nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.

I'm having Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam and Spam!

I am known by many names, but you may call me...Tim.

One, two, ... five!" "Three, my lord.

First you must find... another shrubbery! Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two layer effect with a little path running down the middle. ("A path! A path!") Then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forrest... with... a herring!

John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.