I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.

McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time...

Always look on the bright side of life.

All ideas come about through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude; some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person.

When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.

First you must find... another shrubbery! Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must place it here, beside this shrubbery, only slightly higher so you get a two layer effect with a little path running down the middle. ("A path! A path!") Then, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forrest... with... a herring!

John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.