She turned me into a newt. ... But I got better.

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.

WHAT is your name? WHAT is your quest? and WHAT is your favorite color?

You see, I don't belive that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, that has been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.

I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Oh, you're in television! That's interesting. No, I mean, the word television is interesting. It's a hybrid, you see: tele- comes from the greek, and -vision comes from the latin. It should have been either "telerama", or "procolvision".