Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks.

You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend.

My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot.

The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.