My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule.

My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me.

I am really bad at actually interviewing people.

If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!'

I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer.