Lieutenant Governor Paterson - blind, black guy - gets sworn in. First thing he says is, 'By the way, cheated on my wife. Let's just get that out in the open right now.' He didn't need to admit that. He's blind. Could have said it was an accident.

There's so many ways to do stand up, and I think, for awhile, people weren't really maximizing the freedom of it. We were all kind of doing a similar kind of stand up, and I started to see some original voices come out of Boston.

They say men have a sexual thought every 20 seconds. The other 19 are shame.

If you want to stop two people from having sex, let them get married.

I feel life is to be lived. You want to spend your time doing things and being with friends and all that.

I never know what I'm going to say as I walk up to the microphone. I try to be in the moment. I try to go deeper into myself. I discover things on stage that I don't discover off stage about me.

They say no one knows if we all see red the same way. Except traffic cops.