I called my grandmother yesterday. She picks up the phone, 'Oh hello, dear, hold on a second, I just stepped out of the shower. Let me go put some clothes on.' I said, 'Hey Grandma, don't ever tell me you're naked again. Go put a lot of clothes on. Then put some more clothes on. I'm going to sit here and drink and try to forget you naked in my head.' I'll never eat raisins again.
Greg FitzsimmonsI feel life is to be lived. You want to spend your time doing things and being with friends and all that.
Greg FitzsimmonsI knew that drinking and doing stand-up was going to make me less of an effective comedian. And I just had a lot invested in wanting to be a really good comedian and so I stopped for that reason.
Greg FitzsimmonsDon't be like me. Look at me: monogamous, in shape, no debt, sober... I'm dead inside.
Greg Fitzsimmons