Joke stealing is a big deal to me, but I mean, I'm not going to investigate it if it doesn't effect me directly.

In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story

Ice-T is so old that the first thing he bought with the money from his album sales was his freedom.

You're gonna check my computer records? Is that important? I don't think the government needs to know how I feel about teen Asian sluts in order to fight terrorism.

When I heard you could get a disease from playing with your prairie dog, I thought, 'Wow, what a euphemism.' I thought playing with my prairie dog was the best way to avoid diseases.

The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.

Look at the insane things the Jews believe. The Jews believe that Barbra Streisand is worth $1,000 bucks a ticket.