On a day-to-day basis, you get tired of waiting to be accepted. In show business, someone else has to say that you're good or that you're worth going to see or worth taping a show. There's a lot of pain here. There's a lot of pain inside. I'm a sad, crying-on-the-inside kind of clown.

Why do we need another station where everyone has a gun? We already have BET.

There hasn't been a more effeminate Jew in the closet since Anne Frank.

Ice-T is so old that the first thing he bought with the money from his album sales was his freedom.

Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!

People come to this country from all over the world to pursue their dreams of driving a taxi or selling hot dogs or working in a sweatshop.

We're a spoiled, lazy culture, full of ethnic pride that has to have a parade for every nationality.