On a day-to-day basis, you get tired of waiting to be accepted. In show business, someone else has to say that you're good or that you're worth going to see or worth taping a show. There's a lot of pain here. There's a lot of pain inside. I'm a sad, crying-on-the-inside kind of clown.

I've always had real trouble knowing what my actual desires and goals are. I've just been dragged along by fate.

The things that make me laugh are considered smart or whatever, I guess. But stuff that's self-consciously intelligent or self-consciously hip or cool, that doesn't do it for me either. You just try to be funny.

If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster I would make of anyone's legal issues.

All the evidence we need that God is angry with us is Justin Timberlake's career.

The reality is I'm not a 'get knocked down and come back harder' kind of guy.

In catholisism we have an entire religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story