Seventy-two virgins - does that make sense to anyone? And it's an ancient religion, maybe it was misinterpreted? Maybe it's not 72 virgins, maybe it's a 7-foot-2 Persian.

Norm MacDonald is here - one of the funniest people ever. Norm's got a giant gambling problem. He's dropped more coin in a casino than Michael J. Fox at a parking meter.

You think they could stop putting these experts on the news with their doomsday scenarios of how the terrorists might attack us? Because you get the sense they're coming up with ideas that these people haven't thought of themselves.

Some people are just really goofy kind of guitar acts, and they go out and do these colleges and start making a fortune pretty early on. And other people - I know guys who are great comics, who've done the Letterman show many times, who still barely pay their bills.

A good joke provides tension, and then, release of that tension. You build the tension by saying things that are controversial. The release is the laugh. The bigger the surprise or insight in your joke, the bigger the laugh.

It's hard to distinguish when I was actually struggling from when I only felt like I was struggling - which was pretty much always.

If being a gangster were a prerequisite to being a musician, there'd be a lot less cello music, for example.