Ice-T is so old that the first thing he bought with the money from his album sales was his freedom.

If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds.

If you spend five minutes with me or watch me try to balance my checkbook, you can only imagine the disaster I would make of anyone's legal issues.

Americans are not gonna conserve. We're not gonna shift to smaller cars. We can't - we have big, fat kids.

I like when people give up chocolate for Lent. Ooh, just like being nailed to a cross.

Ice-T is so old that the first thing he bought with the money from his album sales was his freedom.

There are more whipped guys on television than there were on the Amistad.